The Right Mindset About Self Care

When I chat with people about self care, I notice that a lot of people have the tendency to see it as a little treat. It’s like it’s something they don’t do every day or just look forward to “self care Sunday.” I really, truly believe that self care should be a daily practice. Don’t get me wrong, I KNOW you’ve got a crazy hectic schedule, you’ve got kids, a boss that doesn’t leave you alone (let’s unpack that one later), your house needs to be cleaned and dinner has to get made. How could you possibly have time for self care every single day?

Well, I have a tiny request that I think will make a big difference, and that request is that you keep an open mind! You must be intentional and you must be willing to see your daily life through a different lens. If you’re interested in even more on this topic, my free eBook talks all about this, as well!

Self care can be so many things- it’s not just sitting in a bathtub with little cucumbers on your eyes sipping a spritzer and not having a care in the world. Girl, I wish. For me, self care is my morning and evening skin care routine- both are relatively quick, it’s my coffee and meditation routine every single morning before my baby wakes up, it’s going through my routines in the kitchen to live my urban homesteading dreams, it’s visiting wineries on the weekends and soaking up the views of the beautiful Appalachians, and it's going to bed early. Riveting, I know. You may notice though, there’s a lot of routine practices and consistency here that make me feel cared for. Not all of it is about me, not all of it is glamorous, but all of it is fulfilling.

This is 100% attainable and your version of this will make you feel restored and rested. There is great value in our rituals and in seeing daily life through a ritualistic lens.

So how can you start making this a daily routine for yourself? Where do you even start among the chaos?

Start at bedtime.

This was my stepping stone, I think. I’ve always been very dedicated to my evening skin care regimen and before making some adjustments to sprinkle self care throughout my day, I looked forward to it, as a little treat, at the end of each day. This is also where you make time to go to bed a little earlier. This one can actually be harder than it sounds. Maybe you’ve got a newborn, trouble sleeping, noisy spouse. I get it. Do what you can here even if its ten or fifteen minutes early and just shoot for the time you want to be in bed little by little. I am NOT in bed at the exact time I want every night; I aim for a time that I feel is early enough and then usually end up there a little later. It works for now and is also a work in progress for me. Don’t be too rigid with these things or you’ll stress yourself out and this will not feel like self care.

Next work on your morning ritual.

This one will look different for everyone! I am still pretty new to the stay at home mom life, so I can relate to hectic mornings before work trying to get your life together in a sleepy haze. Here’s a link to my routine in case you’re looking for some inspiration and ideas and here is my journal and planner- with good time management you can do this whether you’re going to work or not! My best advice here is to identify the things you enjoy the most in the morning and then make time for those things. Let the rest of your morning just happen; we can’t control everything. But you can get a nice hot shower and have some time alone, or you can sit on the couch and enjoy your coffee while you listen to a podcast or an audiobook, or you can get a gentle yoga session in right on your bedroom floor. The idea is to see regular, routine things as healing, ritualistic practices that are YOURS. My time getting my mind right and meditating in the morning is all mine. My skin care time each evening, also all mine. I see these things as a privilege AND a right: I am privileged enough to have this time to myself but I also DESERVE this time.

Change your perspective on mundane daily tasks.

See the creative outlets you have at your disposal and actually let your creativity flow! This is extremely cathartic, especially when you don’t have time to do your creative hobbies every day. I would LOVE to draw and knit and redecorate my whole house every day, but that’s not real life. What I do have time for every day are my normal routine things, like cooking and cleaning. I’ve learned to really enjoy cooking and, like I mentioned earlier, some urban homesteading ventures. I definitely encourage trying things like this out because it gives a sense of accomplishment and gratification knowing I’m feeding myself and my family something I made and that means I know exactly what’s in it (and none of it is hard to do). Cleaning sucks sometimes, but let yourself feel accomplished and rest afterwards. Enjoy your clean space and let your life feel like it’s in order because your space is in order.

Don’t stress about any of this.

Intention and patience will carry you a long way as you shift your mindset and your routines. Do the ones that are easy for you first- so if you’re a night owl, read a book, do your skin care, get some good rest as early as you can. Morning people, make that crafty latte, get the workout in, listen to a podcast. Change just one thing about your day that you feel is a privilege and start to let yourself believe this is a right and you deserve it. Then keep repeating that. We are all worthy of doing things that make us feel good. We all deserve to make this shift little by little and enjoy our lives more as a result.